The incredible journey of emotional healing

Photo by Žygimantas Dukauskas on Unsplash

Please note: My experience was a highly unusual chain of events. When dealing with pain, people should always follow the advice of medical professionals.

I walked into the foyer of the Midland Hotel in Manchester. It was a Saturday morning in August 1997. I was taking part in a seminar on the revolutionary training techniques called S.A.Q.

The seminar was hosted by an American guy called Randy. S.A.Q was short for speed, agility and quickness. I would be helping him demonstrate resisted plyometric leaps. This involved me jumping several times as high as I could, both with and without resistance.

A hot summers day turns into a picnic for three

Photo 146711600 © Svyatoslava Vladzimirskaya |

It had been a while since I’d walked on Hampstead Heath. It never ever disappointed. I always observed so few people took advantage of this spectacular oasis of London meadowland. The walk from Hampstead tube station through Flask Walk onto Well Walk took me back in time. It had been 20 years since I lived here.

The sun splintered through the canopy of trees that now enveloped the major walkways that cut through this amazing park. My internal compass took me to the left as I headed towards the imposing Kenwood House.

I had prepared well.

The heavy wicker picnic basket in my right…

Supporting her husband on a different level

Photo by Kostya Platon on

The sound of a letter hitting the wooden floor in the hallway is a novelty these days. Plus it’s rare to receive any post that isn’t a bill or demand of someone or another.

I’d chosen bamboo flooring for the ground floor of my new second home. Its cool touch under my feet made it feel alive and centred.

The vanilla coloured envelope was crisp and authoritative. It felt important.

Three yellow crowns set against the deep blue shield of the national coat of arms printed beautifully in the centre made me both nervous and excited at the same moment…

When something is too good to be true

Photo 203868057 © Dmytro Zinkevych |

It was usual for the road to Cannes to get clogged in the early summer. Film festival season drew crowds from all corners of the globe. I’d got used to the journey over the years.

It had been six years since Alice and I met on the British Airways flight 836. An explosive rendezvous had led to an annual pilgrimage to the Hotel Barrière Le Majestic Cannes.

What was unusual this time was I was feeling uncharacteristically light in my stomach. I put it down to too many espressos en-route and dropped the window down to get some air.


Your job is really not worth dying for

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It all seemed to be going well — our new site generated immediate profit, there were new contracts on offer to expand and our turn over was pushing £70,000 a month. Conservative projections would see us tip over £200,000 per month within Q4 of 2019. We were expanding rapidly. We were onto something.

Then, two startups and four years of relentless intensity fell into a black hole in the blink of an eye. I was doing too much, running three sites across the whole of London was a logistical and physical nightmare. Employing 30 people and all the HR responsibility…

Fiction Friday

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I awoke to the sound of many footsteps down the corridor outside my room. As my eyes came into focus, my brain attempted to process an unusual number of feet in our house. My heart kicked into action before my brain. It thumped against my chest and propelled me up onto my feet.

Blindly slipping on the black and red number 3 shirt and white shorts laying in a heap on the cool stone floor next to my bed, I pressed my ear against the wall. My mind was caught between the many hushed voices and the incredible blue sky…

Communication, self-preservation, role-playing, and laughter

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So, you've been locked down with your partner for a year now and what was once a relationship with many external features and spontaneity, is now borderline solitary confinement, albeit with the person you love.

The walk to work, the office banter, the daily gym sessions, the drinks on a Friday, and the nights out with friends are a distant memory. But, there’s one thing that shouldn’t change. Sex two or three times a week, to every now and again, to almost non-existent, should never become the new normal.

Hold the sexual conch

If your slow down in sexual activity is starting to gnaw…

She had more skills than most

Photo by Lightfield Productions on Dreamstime

The idea of coaching kids football went totally against my instincts. It was a glorified babysitting service.

It all started when I let slip to one of my personal training clients that I used to play semi-professional football and was a qualified coach.

“Would you run a session in my back garden? I know there would be lots of interest from other kids.”

Pravita was the wife of a Harley Street dentist

And lived in the uber affluent St. John’s Wood neighbourhood. It was renowned for ladies who lunch and its super expensive American school.

“Look Pravita, it’s not my thing, I’m sure you can find someone else.”


A private party for two was gatecrashed

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What had started as a couple of drinks with Melanie and her husband, Joe had quickly escalated into something no-one could have predicted. Joe was ordered upstairs to listen just over an hour ago. It was Melanie’s fantasy to be tied up and sexually used by another man.

The couples’ leap into a new sexual lifestyle pushed them both well out of their comfort zone.

I met Joe at a conference in Cologne. We got on well. We were a similar age but that was all.

His lack of self-preservation had led to a non-existent sex life. His beautiful wife was sexually bereft of what she really wanted. So, I let him into my world of sexual…

Creating life experiences and beautiful memories is the motivation

Photo by H.F.E & CO on Unsplash

I left the beautiful Artisan bar. The Langham was expensive but this was my first “scene” for over two months. Plus, I have no other vices. I don’t smoke, do drugs, gamble or drink excessively. So, I figured it was money well spent.

Two months may seem like a long time without sex but a scene is always worth the wait. I have learned that ‘normal sex’ is just not worth it. Equally, I have a type and will never compromise.

Surprisingly, far from being frustrating, waiting for the right moment to have sex, is empowering. …

T.J. Johansson

Prize winning author. Men’s sexual health, confidence & mental health. Erotica. Artist.

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